Monday, December 22, 2014

Lost But With Many Words...

    I will begin by saying that I am not a lover of change. There were days (seemingly so long ago) that I had no problem with putting a few things in a back pack and heading out with no real agenda other fun. Now I make lists, I check them twice. The back our car is so full just for a weekend excursion that you cant see out the back window. I have become a lover of things and knowing that those things are always the same. That is until just recently. God has seen this heart and how it has settled and boy is He shaking it up. 

   Things with in our family dynamic is greatly changing. My work and volunteer time is changing. My service in the church is changing. The view that I have of myself is changing. The problem with all of that is that even though I think of myself as a very flexible person, the truth is that I am not. I honestly don't like the things that are becoming exposed in my heart and mind.  I am not the sweet and understanding person that I thought myself to be. Instead I find myself selfish and with out much mercy. I hold a list of checks and balances in my small mind of requirements that need to be ticked in order to have mercy. Grace has been a subject that I have avoided like the plague and have tried to have as little to do with as I can.  But God is shaking and shaking and shaking....He is burning and burning and burning.... And I know that at the end of it all I will no longer be who I am or who I thought myself to be , but rather who He is calling me to become. 

      So much of this began all the way back in May of 2011, when Dad first grew ill. I was called to a place that I neither wanted or pursued. I was called into the arena of intersession.  A place that for years regardless of the pull I resisted.  It took Dad laying on his death bed to get me to step up. Don't get me wrong... for years there had been a few people that the Lord had really laid on my heart to pray for on a regular basis, but prayer was general and shallow. (I hate admitting that)...  For the time that Dad was in the hospital I felt like I was somehow the banner carrier.  When he went home this settled down and I so simply went back to some the back row things that I was so accustomed to. I knew that I had a new found authority but all the judgmentalism and my mercy and grace issues really a huge issue for me. I was walking as close to the walk as I could but it was exhausting and without merit. I found myself running in circles that led me to the same place over and over.  

   When we lost Josiah in 2013 I found a new place in life that lasted for close to year. I was driven and I felt a confidence in who I was. I knew that God would use it and that I could rely on Him, but that began to change. My ideas of grace began to be challenged. My understanding of who I was began to change.  We decided to try for another baby and instead of easily  becoming pregnant we were faced with month after month of negative pregnancy tests. Our OB did tests and could find no reason. He began to suggest that we see a specialist. I felt and feel broken and incomplete.  Selfish as it may be my heart yearned for that baby. My arms ached and still do for a bundle to fill them. Through this I began to really question if I was in fact who I thought I was. A job that I was sure that I was a shoe in for looked past me. My position as a worship leader all but disappeared and I was basically replaced(or felt replaced). I felt like I just flat didn't matter anymore. That feeling the first day we found out Josiah was gone was with me at all times. I was dropped. No I was thrown away. I was only good for what everyone needed doing until someone better came around and then easily discarded and thrown away like a disposable diaper. I caught myself saying to someone "They all just want to suck the life out of my until I'm empty and then the trash is all I'm good for."  I began walking around in a constant state of rage and hate. I couldn't stand to be around any one. I couldn't stand being around myself. 

   I would be alone in the house and a suddenly ideas and thoughts that I had not had in over a decade began to flood my mind. 
   "No one cares and wouldn't give a rip if you just disappeared."
   "My children would be better off if I just died and then Mick could remarry someone who is so much better...someone not broken like I am."

   "Why not just run away."
   "I hate me...I hate who I am...I hate i hate I hate!!!"

   I  was sinking into a place that was full of misery and utter disrepair.  I couldn't bare to tell anyone how I felt. As a matter of fact this is the first time that I have actually admitted most of this. I couldn't find my way. I would try to pray and seek, but I just hated going there. I didn't feel any peace. I didn't feel any strength... When someone suggested that maybe God was moving me from Praise and Worship and the place I volunteer my thought was, "Great that figures. Why wouldn't God take away that one last thing that I cared about that I enjoy."  I just couldn't stand anymore. 

   I can't tell you that there was life changing moment or that there was an instant that I can mark. All I can tell you is that He is shaking me. He is making me really dig deep and look at my heart. I'm learning to quiet my thoughts and and just be still. I am choosing to not listen to anymore whispers from the enemy of who people think I am or how they value me. I am having to trust that I simply can't see the big picture and maybe my heart longs for things that He doesn't have planned for me. 

   It doesn't change that I still long for that last baby to complete our family. That doesn't mean that I have grown elephant skin. It just means that I am going to remember to breath. I going to remember to breath and go from moment to moment and try with all I have to trust Him. 


Monday, October 27, 2014

In the Moment

 Two weeks ago I found myself in SAMS club with a 5 year old who was standing beside me mortified, a 2 year old sitting in the basket in front of me terrified, and a 4 year old banging his head on the concrete, screaming, crying, and having an atomic melt down. It was in that moment that I felt every eye on me and with out one person saying a word, I heard every judgment that they could think of. Their glances burning  holes straight into my heart. I found myself helpless and unable to do a thing. This was not  a situation in which discipline would have done a thing except escalate the problem further. It was not a matter of my 4 year old, Jack, being spoiled. It was a matter of I have no idea at all what was happening and truth be told neither did he.

Jack has been very sensitive his entire life. He has had some testing for Autism spectrum disorders. He has been on several prescriptions. He is now about to start childhood counseling. For the most part Jack is a beautiful, precious boy. He is full of energy, loves to play and wrestle with his brother and Daddy, and he loves Jesus, but Jack also has a very sad dark side. You never know what will trigger his sadness or outburst and those outburst range from screaming to an all out bang your head on the floor fit. All the time you try and call him he begs us to help him stop. This is the plight that my little 37 pound beautiful brown eyed boy has in front of him. As his mother I would be a liar if I said that the thought or idea of having a child with a possible mental illness scares the living thunder out of me. I fear for him and for his future. What will his future teachers think and how will they treat him. What will future employers, girls, schools.......What will they think about him if he is labeled? But then the still, firm, never wavering, never fearing, always present, always strong, all most magestic, all most powerful, most loving, most concerned, and most marvelous voice of my Father whispers to me....
"I hold him in the very palm of my hand. I hold firm to him and he will not fall by the waste side. I have a plan for him that no one could ever imagine. I have marked him as mine and  nothing will change that. Dont you know that I wove him together in your womb and there I made him perfect and intentionally? Fear not I am yours and you are mine."

So join us on this journey as we learn how to help Jack be the best he can be, where we learn to equip him, educate him, educate ourselves, and those who will direct and guide him, and where we stand back and allow our loving Daddy to take the reigns and teach us and Jack how to better trust him and love him.

Friday, February 28, 2014

The Small Moments....

          The last seven months have been full. They have been full of grief, laughter, fear, thoughtfulness, and oh....GRACE. I never thought in a million years that I would be at this point in my life and look around and wonder "Just what was it I was suppose to be doing?"  I never once thought that I wasn't going to do something that was off the hook blow your mind awesome! That however is not what has happened with this life.  Instead I am more practical than I ever thought I could be. I grocery shop with intentions of having a somewhat balanced meal for my kids. I, yes me, I make play dates with other mommies.   I am not hanging off a mountain somewhere or leaping off some tropical canopy in the rain forest. No I read bed time stories. I have girl friends and we talk over the in and outs of diaper rash.  For a while this was kind of hard for to swallow. I mean come on we are talking about me. I am the one who packed up and moved to South Korea for almost 2 years on a whelm. I am the one who met a man on the inter net...Never met him, but committed to marry him. This is ME that we are talking about. How could I possibly be happy and content with a regular life? Well.......
          Well life isn't so regular. Its actually quit spectacular. You see I have come to terms with one thing: I serve at the pleasure of the king. I serve at His beckon, His choosing, I serve at His desire. All those bedtime stories are moments in  a little life that I can pour into what will be. Every time my 2 year old climbs up in my lap to just sit and rest I am empowering him with security that he is safe, he can relax, and he arms are always open.  I am learning more and more all the time that every day the regular tasks of motherhood are actually opportunities to try and speak into their lives.

          In fact I am learning more all the time to take every moment captive means something different than what I had once thought. I used to think that it somehow meant that I was to look for the moments in life that were just extraordinary, but I am seeing now that it's about taking the opportunities and seeing where God would lead them. For instance, Many times when I am in my pump class I hear His voice. So I just go with it. Sometimes He points a person out to me. When that happens I will spend the set just praying for that person. sometimes He will tell me specific things and sometimes I just spend the time praise the Lord for that person and blessing them. Sometimes when we stretch at the end of class I just spend that time praising Him and thanking him.  I try to find moments like that all through the day.

          At one point I had found myself worried that I wasn't spending enough time in a "quiet time".  I grew up with a mother who spent hours at the crack of dawn on her knees in prayer and the word. For the first year that I had children I tried so very hard to fit into that  box. I found myself totally disappointing myself and feeling that I was disappointing God as well.  I struggled to see the huge cloud that the vision of my destiny was suppose to come out of.  I couldn't understand that why everyone else was "hearing" God but I wasn't.  Then one day I was taking a shower...Yes a shower and I was asking God why He wasn't showing me these great visions of what my destiny was...... That is when He spoke so clearly to me, "This is it...You are living it."  I was shocked I couldn't believe it. So I asked Him what He meant by that. Again He spoke clear as a bell to me..."Every moment that that you are pouring into the mamas that come to eat lunch with you, every friend whose side you run to when they need you, every time that you as show you face...That is you living your destiny.  You living your destiny as minister, you living your destiny as an intercessor , you living your destiny as the reminder of hope for new life that comes only from me." I cried so hard in that shower that day and now some of my best time with Daddy is in the shower.

          All this to say that your quiet time may not look like everyone else's and that is ok. We are told to seek first the kingdom. We aren't told that there is secret code or a special order to how it's suppose to look. The goal in it all is that we would seek His face. The point is that we would draw near to Him and that in doing so build relationship with Him. Right now the season that you are in may not allow you to spend hours seeking Him through scripture.  Right now it may be that you just need to sit at His feet as often as you can and guess what? That's ok. He loves you so much that He wants you and you alone.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Grace Under Pressure

          I have to begin with the admission that I know I'm a horrible blogger. I have a sister who is wonderful at it. She is consistent and always relevant. That is not me. I do it when I think about it or God is sharing something with me that I feel strongly He wants to share with some one else. Today would be one of those days.

           Let me start with by saying that Mick and I never thought that we would be able to have children. We went through a battery of testing when we were first married and were told that the possibility was not very high for us to ever have our own children. We were amazed and completely blessed that we have three children now. In April we had decided that we were really wanting a fourth. We felt strongly that #4 was in our future. We had started checking for ovulation and we wanted to go for it after my yearly check up. Those  plans were thrown to a complete stop. Dr. Tadvick was not happy at all I had gained ALOT of weight, my blood pressure was high and my blood sugars were less than stellar.  He said that he really wanted me to wait until I had lost 60 pounds and gotten healthy.  I agreed and off we went on a trip to Dallas that we had planned for the kids. 
            On the last day of our trip our oldest, Emma, put her hand over my tummy and said, "Mommy has a baby in there!" Mick and I both laughed and really didn't think much of it. On the way home I started thinking about it and thought ...What if?  So when we got home and unpacked I took a test. What do you know.... I WAS PREGNANT!! We were surprised and scared all at the same time. Dr. Tadvick wasvery adamant     that I would not have an easy time if we went ahead and got pregnant.  I called his office and he scheduled a blood test. The next day I got a call from him saying, "Well it is for sure..." I started crying and he was so sweet and prayed with me and told me, "We will make this one the best yet..."   I started insulin again and we went on to lose weight. Of first appointment cam and we had a great sonogram. Everything looked great and we were given a due date of December 27th. Excited now and feeling confident in everything being OK we began planning. Looking to buy a house get a car.... We were one our way... not quite the timing that we had thought but we were already in love with this child and couldn't wait to meet him or her. 

              My second appointment was on July 7th. I went alone. I mean this was our fourth and we knew what to expect.  I was called into the back and weighed and had my blood pressure...everything was looking better already. Then I went back into room #4  I laid on the the bed and the nurse put the doppler on my tummy. I wasn't too worried when she couldn't find the tiny heart beat. I was just 15 weeks and because I was so over weight it didn't surprise me. She left and got Dr. Tadvick and he started a sonogram.  We talked freely about what was going on in the family and how we were doing and then the conversation began to lull... The sonogram was taking quiet a while. He kept leaning across me making the picture larger and larger... He then began to talk to himself..."Lets do an internal sonogram.." He had a nurse come in and began the internal sonogram.  It seemed like an eternity. I knew. I knew I knew I knew... I had started praying... Tears running down my face. I knew.  "Keri I have really bad news. You've lost the baby."
......The words rang in my ears like symbols and I got a charlie horse in my stomach.  I stood straight up with the a sheet around my waist. My head was spinning. I wanted to throw up, but this was Dr. Tadvick and I couldn't just barf in the floor.  He had me get dressed and told me that I could  wait as long as needed and that he thought it would be best if  I called Mick and had him come in. Mick came immediately and met me out in the foyer.  We went up to the office and they took us straight back into a room. I sat in floor a huddle mass. Mick leaning over me and when Dr. Tadvick came in he surrounded us both. He talked to Mick about options and what eh felt we should do, but I honestly heard nothing. He loved on us and we went home.  I felt numb. We went to Mom and Dad's and fell into her arms.  She sat me down and started telling me about how God still had us. She quoted scripture and  shared her heart with me.  All I could think though was that He had dropped me. That is all that I could think... 

           Mom prayed for us and we went home and told Emma that our baby was gone. She surprised me by weeping uncontrollably.  I went to bed that night hoping that I would not wake up the next day.  But God did something that night. He began healing me even then. The next morning Dr. Tadvick's nurse called me and told me that a DNC had been planned after a confirmation sonogram at the hospital.  The next morning we went to the hospital for the sonogram confirming what we already knew and walked across to Tadvick's office and sat in a room waiting... I sat down and as soon as I sat down I felt like the world was gong to come out of my mouth. I ran to the bathroom and threw up. Dr. Tadvick and Mick were in the room when I came back. He discussed the procedure with us, but I couldn't tell you one word he said.... Then I felt his hand on my leg and realised that he was saying me name. He was asking me if this is what I wanted. But I knew that it didn't matter. I had been carrying my baby dead for almost four weeks and could not bare to let it just a happen. There was also the issue of bleeding out and we lived 20 minutes from  the hospital. Not to mention that there would be no one around me that could help because Mick worked 45 minutes away. Dr. Tadvick prayed over us and sent us over to the hospital again. 

            We walked through a little garden area between the two buildings and Mick talked about how pretty it was. I remember looking at the fountain there and being overcome with peace. We walked into the foyer and checked in. While standing there our pediatrician was walking through and saw us. He came over and loved on us and emotion covered me like waves on a beach. I began to weep and the receptionist began to weep. She came out from behind the counter and hugged on us both. She told me that what ever we needed she would help us. All of the sudden we were overcome by a very real awareness of God's grace.  We were taken straight back to the pre-surgical area. As we went through the pre-surgery process and testing we asked one of the nurses if there was a chance that we could get the remains of our baby. Stopped where she was at and said "No one has ever asked me that before. Let me make some calls and I will take care of everything." We were taken up to the surgical floor and the nurse that met us there told us starting off  "I am so sorry you have to be here today."  The nurse from down stairs came up. She told us that she had arranged everything for our precious baby and that we would be given the remains. She started to leave and then turned around and sat down on the edge of my bed.  She began to cry and held my hand. "Do you know what it means to me that you want this baby? You are honoring him and validating him." She then began to tell me that when she was a little girl her mother had miscarried twice. She was so heart broken that these babies had just simply disappeared. She was showing us even before we realised that this baby was serving a purpose and that God was already using his precious little life regardless of how brief it was.

            An IV was started and our pastor came up to be with Mick while I was in surgery.  From that point on I really don't remember a lot. The only thing I do remember is moving over to the operating table and having the mask put on my face and beginning to realise this was real. This is happening.  I began to whisper Jesus as I drifted off... The next thing that I remember was a precious nurse from our church over me and praying for me. I was not even aware of it but I had begun to weep and call out for my baby. I wept for about 45 minutes, but then it was just over.  I was taken to the next recovery area and was met by our nurse Sarah. I will always remember. She sat down and cried with us and shared with us that she had lost twins when she was younger. When the lab called from the pathologist office she was surprised  that they were bringing the remains up. She then shared that she had often wished that she had been able to do the same for her babies, but the option was not given to her.   We received a little box from the labor and deliver department. When  I looked through it I found the most precious things and I felt the love of an amazing father who loves us so very much. I was amazed at the out pouring of love from a small group of women whom I had never even met. Talk about feeling the love of a Daddy that I could call tangible. It was amazing how as the day went on we were just covered in love and the Lord was not just ministering to us but was ministering to others through us and the way that we were dealing with this.

         Was it possible that He was already making beauty from ashes. He was already pouring into us and allowing opportunity  for us to pour into others? How could this be? Shouldn't this be like the worst day of my life and yet I actually was feeling a joy. I was actually able to rejoice. Not in the situation, but in the grace that He was pouring over us. He was covering us and without us even knowing it, He was moving us into a new place that we had never been before. Our day ended in joy and an awareness of the presence of Christ that we had never known before.  How precious is was His grace and how perfect was His love? We had felt something that even now is with us and we are able to share it with others. 

         In closing, Job has always been a book that I have always wrestled with. How could he be so very loyal and God still allow Satan to put him through what he did?  Job 13:15 means more to me now than it ever did....

          " 15 [I do it because, though He slay me, yet will I wait for and trust Him and] behold, He will slay me; I have no hope—nevertheless, I will maintain and argue my ways before Him and even to His face."

Tuesday, December 4, 2012


My whole life I have heard that God had a destiny for me. I was choosen, called, or marked. I had been choosen before time to fullfill His purposes.  It was very dissapointing for me when I reached adulthood and found that I was not in some far off country raising peopple from the dead.  Instead I am a house wife with three babies, a husband, and a small part time job. I have no great career or awesome mind shaking ministry. 

For a while this issue was as struggle for me. I was so afraid that the opurtunity had eaither comletely passed me by in my sin or that I wouod miss it when it came.  Some how I had equated noteriety with destiny... They are not the same for those of you struggling with the same thing.  It was crazy when it dawned on me that I was living my destiny.  I was in the shower(one of the few places that I actually have some allone time) and I was praying. Heck I was crying out. I felt useless and lacking in every way. then the Lord began to show me faces of people that had recently been at my table or on my coouch. Each one had some kind of issue or question or simply needed someone to listen to them.

He simply told me,"darlin you're living it!!!" I couldn't believe it. For some reason I thought when He showed me His lan for my destiny , I would be knocked out cold and that people would look at me as marked for purpose. It wasn't that at all... instead it wasn't me that they were seeing ...IT WAS HIM!!!!!!!!! What JOY!!! When I realized that very point it was all I could do to stand. That people could see Him in me????......... How could this be? I mean I know me and I know that the rough vanier is still very present. I constantly struggle with self worth, my weight, my attitude towards my children, my my my my.... I could go on for quite a while.  But that was the point.

He had choosen to show what mercy looks like. I had always old my Dad that God even used an ass because he was difficult most of the time...What I dinlt realize was that I would be the ass He used.  I don't hide the struggles. I don't hide the pain...What's the point? Everything done in darkness is some how brought to light.  I found myself being scary real with poeple and found that real is what they needed.  in spite of all my short comimngs I love Jesus and I know and realize that His rightousness makes me rightous!!   For such a long time I had struggled with the whole thing about trying to be worthy and all the time He was rollinh His eyes loving me where I was.  I never understood that until my three year old was talking to me.

Emma is my first born. She was the beginning of our miracle of having a family.  She is full of spunk and energy. She will be 4 at the end of the month and is a delight and stinker all at the same time. She loves to be sung to and to sing. (Tone deaf as she may be...I am still holding out hope) One of her favorite songs is "Jesus Loves Me". One night we were going through the same every night tasks of getting everyone in bed and doing our singing... When I got to the place of Jesus loves me this I know for the bible tells me so...She began to say in excitement...."Mommy My Jesus loves me...He really really loves me!!!" I was stunned...For the very first time in my life I realized..MY Jesus Loves me! It wasn't just words anymore. It wasn't just a simple child's song anymore....MY JESUS LOVES ME!!! 

I was overwhelmed and began to cry. What in the world. Why had I never looked at it that way before. I was overjoyed that at this tender age Emma had already grasped the concept of His love for her and yet her 40 year old mother was just now seeing it for the firt time in such a real way!

What would happen if every one understood His love for them in such a matter of fact way that He is Their Jesus and that He loves them and desires such a close relationship that we seem Him as ours? Then it all began to make even more since. The ones who have been in and out of my life never came or went without knowing one thing....That I love Jesus. That I believe that there is no issue that is beyond Him. I have sat on the couch with friends as they told me that I didn't understand and that their marriage was over. The look on their faces when I would tell them that it still wasn't too late that He could still heal their relationship... I knew this because we have been through Hell as a couple. and here we are by His grace.  I cried with others sisters in faith as they wet at the fact that family members were told that they would die and I would tell them it didn't have to be that way... I knew because we have been there.... Wow and they all still knew me as the girl who says crap and on occasions even says shit. They all know me as the girl who partied like a rock star and still likes to throw one back every once in a while.. They know me. they know that I have struggled and struggle every day and still here I am raising "MY JESUS"....

All this to say... Be who you are and not who you think you have to be for Him to use... He is much bigger than that and you are living your destiny...It's called life!

Friday, November 23, 2012

Hebrews 12:28

For the last 23 days I have seen all my friends post on their blogs and facebook pages what they are thankful for. I thought about doing it, but when I really contemplated putting it down in black in white I changed my mind. I have so many things that putting them in priority would be ridiculous   Then I began to ask God what He desires us to be the most thankful for....Salvation, families, grace?  Here is what I heard....

 "Do you see what we’ve got? An unshakable kingdom! And do you see how thankful we must be? Not only thankful, but brimming with worship, deeply reverent before God. For God is not an indifferent bystander. He’s actively cleaning house, torching all that needs to burn, and he won’t quit until it’s all cleansed. God himself is Fire!"                                                                   Hebrews 12:28

Wow!!! Families are fickle... even the closest families have moments when they are at odds and friends come in and out of your life, much like the tides. The only one thing that is constant and the same for all time is God... he never changes. He never allows my stinking attitude  sever  His love for me. He doesn't listen to what others say about me and draw conclusions about my worth. He doesn't sit around and talk about me just to entertain Himself or pass the time. His love is genuine and never be found lacking, even when I am. 

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

He Can Make A Perfect Heart

Where to begin.... Over the last month the Lord has taken me  through what has almost felt like an obstacle coarse. I committed to pray and do a partial fast for 37 days leading up to the election. Now the fasting part was not as big a deal as I thought it would be, but the onslaught was crazy. Never have I felt so out of control in my life. My children lost their minds, I was constantly on the brink of meltdown, Mick and fought more than we have in years.  After having gone through that and still remained faithful to stick to it I will be honest, I felt betrayed by God last night. I could not believe that my friends and I had followed through with our commitment and God still allowed our white house to fall into the lap of a man who stands against everything I am grounded in and supports everything that I am against. How could this happen??!

It could happen because we are a nation that has become blinded. I have so many friends and family whom I love deeply who have extreme liberal ideas and beliefs. The thought of abortion being outlawed throws them into a panic because, "Women have to have reproductive rights." They go into a tail spin  about a bird being displaced, but the idea of a child being partially born and then then killed is OK....I have a point... They are not bad or evil people. In fact are some of the most precious and generous people I know. They are people who I love deeply and have supported me in times of dire straights... so how could they treat me with such grace and compassion and yet have such sickening look at politics and  the value of life in general? Because they have been blinded. I'm not saying that I see the light completely, but I do seek the kingdom.  I know that if I seek the kingdom ALL these things shall be added unto me...

At least that is what I have told myself.  I have told myself that I could skirt around the issues and as long as I was seeking ...I was good.  That is simply not the case. I was amazed at how quickly venom shot out of my mouth and through my fingers as I wrote responses last night to election finals. How easy it was for me to through the "F" bomb around talking to Mick about how stupid our country was and " What kind of idiots are voting?" .....Now I have had to swallow more pride than I would even like to think about an apologize to him and others of how I ranted. How easy it was to fall off of grace, forget about faith, and dive head first off the cliff of despair. I mean WOW!!! Did I forget that His word tells us???

 "Let every person be loyally subject to the governing (civil) authorities. For there is no authority except from God [by His permission, His sanction], and those that exist do so by God’s appointment." Romans 13:1

I found myself going through the last two years in my mind and He reminded me that He is all that matters...Storms rage, kingdoms fall, but He is constant. How many times does he have to tell me. How many times does He have to show me before I really get it? I wish I knew. I wish there was a switch I could flick and then it would be what it is.  I can look over things for the last two years and see that even though we could not possibly see how God could make something good out of it....He did. He made beauty from ashes. 

He has reminded many times over the last two days that He is more than able to look into the hearts of His people. He is able to change everything with the very breath from His mouth and through it all....He can make a perfect heart.  It may not be easy. In fact the journey will most certainly be difficult.  We will have struggles, but we MUST know and remember that this journey is not about us. It is about the families that have yet to be touched by His mercy. 

So my fellow Christian brothers and sisters here we are. We have a call and choice to make. We have to make the choice to fulfill our responsibility to our nation. We are called to cover our president and ALL our leaders in prayer. There is no heart so hardened or life so very turned that He can not change it, mold it, and create the perfect heart. Pray for our leaders. Submit yourself daily to asking His intervention on our behalf. Our God is able.

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