In the Moment

 Two weeks ago I found myself in SAMS club with a 5 year old who was standing beside me mortified, a 2 year old sitting in the basket in front of me terrified, and a 4 year old banging his head on the concrete, screaming, crying, and having an atomic melt down. It was in that moment that I felt every eye on me and with out one person saying a word, I heard every judgment that they could think of. Their glances burning  holes straight into my heart. I found myself helpless and unable to do a thing. This was not  a situation in which discipline would have done a thing except escalate the problem further. It was not a matter of my 4 year old, Jack, being spoiled. It was a matter of I have no idea at all what was happening and truth be told neither did he.

Jack has been very sensitive his entire life. He has had some testing for Autism spectrum disorders. He has been on several prescriptions. He is now about to start childhood counseling. For the most part Jack is a beautiful, precious boy. He is full of energy, loves to play and wrestle with his brother and Daddy, and he loves Jesus, but Jack also has a very sad dark side. You never know what will trigger his sadness or outburst and those outburst range from screaming to an all out bang your head on the floor fit. All the time you try and call him he begs us to help him stop. This is the plight that my little 37 pound beautiful brown eyed boy has in front of him. As his mother I would be a liar if I said that the thought or idea of having a child with a possible mental illness scares the living thunder out of me. I fear for him and for his future. What will his future teachers think and how will they treat him. What will future employers, girls, schools.......What will they think about him if he is labeled? But then the still, firm, never wavering, never fearing, always present, always strong, all most magestic, all most powerful, most loving, most concerned, and most marvelous voice of my Father whispers to me....

"I hold him in the very palm of my hand. I hold firm to him and he will not fall by the waste side. I have a plan for him that no one could ever imagine. I have marked him as mine and  nothing will change that. Dont you know that I wove him together in your womb and there I made him perfect and intentionally? Fear not I am yours and you are mine."

So join us on this journey as we learn how to help Jack be the best he can be, where we learn to equip him, educate him, educate ourselves, and those who will direct and guide him, and where we stand back and allow our loving Daddy to take the reigns and teach us and Jack how to better trust him and love him.